from difficulty to strength

After reading this blog post by my wonderful friend, Meredith, I decided sto re-read one of my favorite books...

and the Lord is speaking to me:

"So as I navigate the various challenges and obstacles on the highway to my destiny, I'm watching the warning lights of my heart. I must sustain my connection with the Source of life...I can't afford to have a moment in my life when circumstances distract me from tending that fire in my heart..."

Did you know that Saul pursued David for over 10 years?

10 years!!

And all throughout that time, David tended the fire of God in his own heart and in the hearts of the mighty men (who were once outcasts) whom he was training for battle. He didn't let discouragement distract Him from the call of God on his life. He put his trust in the Lord of heaven and of earth...not in his circumstances.

2012 has been a difficult year for us.

It was difficult when we lost all of the money for our adoption.
It was one of the most difficult times in my life when we realized that we wouldn't be able to adopt R.
It has been difficult to let go of many dreams, in regards to India.
It was difficult to see Grace in such pain for almost three weeks.
Communication with people that I love is sometimes difficult.

But, what pales in comparison to all of these things is the difficulty that I find myself in when I turn my gaze from the Lover of my soul.

So much of the difficulty of 2012 stems from the fact that there are times when I ignored the need to tend that holy fire in my heart. I have allowed circumstances to distract me from His presence. I have doubted His goodness and His mercy. I have let go of His call on my life and have taken my gaze off of His beautiful face.

Thanks be to God that He gives us continual opportunities to turn our eyes to Him! He is so forgiving and kind. He does not leave us unto ourselves. He pours out His mercy and strength as we seek after Him. I so want to sit in His presence and gaze on His glorious face. I want to seek Him when things are going well AND when things are difficult. I want to hold on to His promises. I want to always sustain my connection with the Source of life.

So, I want to proclaim now that despite some appearances, 2012 is a magnificent year! He is teaching me new things. He is helping me to grow in faith. He has created beauty from ashes by allowing us to adopt precious Kaikai. (Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus. Oh how I love this boy!) He has allowed us to see Grace restored to health (again, thank you, Jesus!!!). He has abundantly provided for our adoption expenses. He is helping me not to look to my circumstances, but to remember how He has called me and so to believe in Him for greater things. He is giving me new strength in Him!

Praise the Lord!