Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Ever since Grace entered our lives, I could see that she and Adam shared the same sort of spirit. Of all of my children, Grace and Adam are probably the most alike. They are sensitive, kind, introspective and have a heart for people.
Unfortunately, there is now another way that they are alike. We have been learning over the past few weeks that Grace has developed a number of potentially serious allergies. Quite honestly, this has been a blow to this mama, who is also dealing with the idea of sending her son away to live in a dorm, infested with all sorts of peanut butter eating young adults! And though I totally support and am excited about Adam’s decision to go to Greenville, when Grace’s doctor called in a junior epi-pen prescription for her yesterday, my heart felt like it couldn’t take much more.
They have my heart. And it doesn’t feel fair that their lives must be held so tenuously. It doesn’t feel fair that the everyday act of eating could be life-threatening for them. Yesterday, that thought had me paralyzed and I refused to go to our Father to give Him my burden. All that I could do was cry out, “It’s too much, Lord and I’m weary. I don't even have the strength to talk with You. But please don’t let me go. Whatever You do, don’t ever let me go.”
I spent another sleepless night and this morning the last thing that I wanted to do was to pray. But, our Precious God didn’t forget my cry from yesterday. He reached down and gave me the smallest inkling of hope. Not hope as the world gives. Not the promise that these allergies would go away (though I will certainly pray for that). But hope in the Everlasting One, in The One who makes all things right in His time. I stand before Him now, still grieving, still struggling, but able to sing,
Humbly I stand, an offering with open hands,
Lord I bring
Everything and nothing less
My best, my all
You deserve my every breath,
My life, my song.
They are two of my very best, and I give them to our Gracious Father, who is the only One deserving of such a treasure. Truly, He is not only worthy, He is also the only One who is able to keep them perfectly safe in His gentle care.
Oh, how I love them.