Is it any fun?

A few weeks ago, I wrote this post, in an attempt to explain a little bit of what the Lord has been doing in my life. In the post I shared about a dream that God had given to me. In the dream, I was on an island and a tsunami was coming. But, before it actually hit, I had a vision (still in the dream) of how the island would look after the tsunami had passed. There was a beautiful little house on the island--bright and shining, but completely empty.

I explained in the post how I felt that there had been a tsunami that had torn through my heart in this past year, and now I was sitting in that house with Jesus. It was lovely, clean and bright. But, it was certainly empty. I knew that my Jesus would begin to fill the house in His time, if I would only let Him (and not fill it with all of my worthless stuff).

Then, school started. And, as I mentioned, I have been caught up in grading, planning and longing for more sleep. The beautiful little house was never far from my mind, but I didn't have the stamina to just sit with Him in the house, and listen to His heart.

But, our Jesus, He's so very patient.

On Friday, as I sat before the Lord (for the first really extended time since school began), He showed me something amazing. He showed me the first little thing that could (and must) come into the house.

It was His joy.

I was reading a book by Leif Hetland. The book had been intriguing up until that point, but nothing had struck me as particularly noteworthy. Nothing, that is, until this question... 

"Is it any fun?"

hmmm...that's an odd question. Is it any fun? What does Mr. Hetland mean by that?

He went on..

"The Christian life you're living, the Christian God you're serving, the Christian things you're doing. Is it any fun? By fun, I don't mean that you're in a perpetual state of euphoria. I don't mean that you're always up, always in a good mood, always the life of the party. What I mean by the question is this. Do you love it? Is it your passion? Do you get joy from it? Does it give you life? And does it give life to those around you?"

Leif Hetland, Seeing Through Heaven's Eyes, P. 134

Ah Lord, this is not just a rhetorical question. This is the question of the hour.

Is it any fun?

Do I love it?

Is it my passion?

Do I get joy from it?

Does it give me life?

And (here's the kicker), does it give life to those around you?

Oh dear Jesus, I knew the answer to that question.

And the answer was

no

Not always no.

Not continually no.

But, much, much too often, the answer would have to be

no

Oh, my precious Jesus, it is now clear to me why I needed to start over with nothing--with no preconceived ideas, with no particular plans, with nothing that doesn't begin and end in You. Because if I don't, I lose my joy. If I don't, I lose my passion. If I don't, I lose my life and I can no longer give life to those around me.

So now, I'm sitting here in this bright, shining, beautiful house, and I know that until I can say that my passion is truly Him and nothing but Him, I am not moving from this place. I don't know how long it will take, but I know the One who is faithful and I know the One who offers abundant life. He is here with me.

And He is the most fun person that I know.