The beauty of mistakes

For the past year or so, God has been teaching me about the beauty of making mistakes. Now, I am not talking about purposefully making mistakes (I guess that if they're purposeful, then they aren't really mistakes, are they?), and I'm not talking about making mistakes that are clearly a result of seeking to fulfill my own selfish desires. Rather, I am talking about making mistakes in pursuit of His Kingdom.

It all started in September of last year when our pastor asked the question, "Are you making a lot of mistakes for the kingdom?"

Very simply, my answer was "no". The reason: because someone might think negatively of me. Ouch! Talk about misplaced values!

Another thing that our pastor said that day was that we must, "Give ourselves away for the love of the world. We must trespass the edge of decorum."

I determined in my heart that day, that I would no longer live the lie of the perfectionist (that keeping everything "just right" is the true road to happiness and control in one's life), but that I would follow God "to the edge of decorum."

Well, God has been helping me along this road in amazing ways. He has been showing me His unconditional love even amidst all of my faults and mistakes (and there have been quite a few of them!). Of course, I have always made mistakes, but I have never thought that was o.k. and I definitely tried to avoid them, even if that meant not following in the way that I thought God was leading. It has been a painful time of learning, but God has been patient and has never given me more than I could handle.

The other night I was awoken by the Lord. I was in turmoil because of a misunderstanding that I had had with a sister (as the result of pursuing the kingdom). In the past, I would have run right out to talk to this sister and make it clear that I had really done nothing wrong (she couldn't think that I had made a mistake)! But, God spoke to me. He said, "I allowed the misunderstanding."

What a beautiful thing! God gave me complete peace. So much so, that I knew that even if I never talked to this sister about this issue, it would be o.k. Even if this sister thought that I had made a horrible mistake, it would be o.k. What freedom to not be locked into the pressure of being seen as always good and never at fault.

I did talk to this sister yesterday. It was a beautiful time. She was gracious and kind, and God's mercy was shown to me in exceptional ways. But, it could have been different. She could have been angry and upset. And you know what? That would have been o.k. God is giving me the freedom to accept that He uses mistakes to teach us. And even if everyone else were to think negatively about me, He is pleased by a heart in pursuit of Him (even if that means a bunch of mistakes!).

Today, I read this passage from God Calling:

"The Beauty of My Kingdom is its growth. In that Kingdom there is always progress, a going on from strength to strength, from glory to glory. Be in My Kingdom, and of My Kingdom, and there can be no stagnation. Eternal Life, abundant Life is promised to all in it, and of it.

"No misspent time over failures and shortcomings. Count the lessons learned from them but as rungs in the ladder. Step up, and then cast away all thought of the manner of the making of the rung. Fashioned of joy and sorrow, of failure or success, of wounds or healing balm, what matter, My children, so long as it served its purpose?"