a pearl

God is so gracious. This past weekend I went on a retreat, and God spoke to me about many things in a very personal way. In one sense, this made the weekend difficult. I have come home, wrestling with some things, seeking the heart of God and what He wants for me and for others. In other, ways, of course, the words that the Lord gave to me were a sweet balm for my soul. He is always so kind.

One of the speakers at the retreat shared two stories that were very personal to her. She called them "pearls". And though she was hesitant to share them because of their personal nature, she really felt that the Lord had asked her to do just that. Friends, I was so blessed by these stories. They were from the very heart of God.

Often, I am hesitant to share the things that the Lord is telling me because of their intimate nature. But today, I believe the Lord wants me to share one story from the retreat. He wants me to share it because He wants you to know how insanely much He loves you, how much a heart that is towards Him truly touches His heart, and how much it means to Him when we love Him in the midst of difficulties. Here is my "pearl":

On Friday evening, when we arrived at the retreat, I was feeling in a bit of a slump. I have had a cold that has been hanging on for almost two weeks now, I was tired and I was totally preoccupied by thoughts of the 147 million orphans of the world, and the 20,000 children who would die that day for lack of food and water. I was not really in the mood to socialize!

We spent a little time in worship and then listened to a speaker. My mind was totally not there. But then we started to worship again. I moved to the back of the room, so that I could have a little space and also so that I could stay awake. The song that we were singing was truly beautiful and I felt God bringing me to a place of worship. After a little while, I glanced to my right. There was a woman standing a little ways away, worshipping. She looked beautiful...I mean absolutely radiant. And then I felt the heart of God for this woman. "I just love her so much. Isn't she radiant?" He said. It seemed as If our Lord was choking back tears. He was just so in love with this woman.

I looked around me. There were many other women worshipping. They were beautiful, as well, but none of them even came close to the radiance that this woman exuded. "What is it about this woman, Lord? Why is she so radiant?"

He didn't answer me. Instead He told me to go and tell her how much He loved her.

Okay....I guess that I could do that. I mean, who wouldn't like to hear about God's love for them? So, after a few minutes I walked over to this woman and said. "You know, when you were worshipping, you looked absolutely radiant. The Lord wants you to know how much He loves you."

That's it. I hardly even looked her in the eyes. I just delivered my message and walked away. I thought that it was over...but I was wrong.

The next evening, we were getting ready for worship again. The woman whom I had talked with the night before, walked up to the front to share a testimony and to encourage us in our worship. She talked for awhile about some of the things that God had been showing her over the past few years due to illnesses in her family, and then she shared something very personal. Her one year old son had cancer. He had a 50% chance of making it through the year. But, through this incredible trial, the Lord was showing her what it meant to worship...to worship Him because He is worthy no matter our circumstances, no matter what might happen to her son. He is worthy.

Friends, I was in tears. This woman had endured so much pain and still wanted to worship our precious Lord. No wonder He was so taken with her. No wonder He wanted her to know of His deep affection and care for her. No wonder He had to choke back tears when he spoke of His love for her. She truly was a jewel in the crown of our beautiful Jesus.

After the woman got down from the stage, I went over and hugged her. Through tears, I tried to explain more of what the Father had conveyed to me about His love for her. "I didn't know last night why he wanted me to tell you this."

"I knew," she said, with a face still radiant with His love. "I knew."

My friends, do you know that He loves you in the same way? He loves you with a love that is uncontainable. He loves you in such a way that He has to choke back tears when He speaks of you. And when you worship Him in the midst of trials, His heart is completely ravished by you. Dear ones, His heart is completely for you. He will move heaven and earth so that you will know His love. You are radiant to Him.