healing the orphan spirit

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A few months ago, I posted a promise that God had given me regarding one of our children. (You can read about it here: He said that He would give generous wisdom to us as we entrusted Him with one of our dearest treasures. This child had had a very traumatic past and was having difficulty trusting us (especially me). She was holding on to an orphan spirit, and we so wanted her to have a spirit of adoption! God promised that He was going to work wonderously in this child's life and I firmly believe that He is doing just that!

When we adopted this particular child, I decided that we could fix all of her problems if we just remained consistent, loving and firm. After all, I was a very competent person and I could take care of everything that she needed if I just stuck with it. Our consistency did bring about a degree of compliance. She seemed to be doing well and many people commented on how well-adjusted she seemed. Let me be clear--she was and is well-adjusted in many ways. She is a wonderful person! But, there was still something that wasn't quite right. There was a way that she was emotionally immature and unable to trust. This was the real issue that needed to be addressed.
So...we tried every possible thing that we could think of to help her to become emotionally secure and relationally mature. I always seemed to be attempting a new technique that might help a bit. I focused a lot on time together and specific teaching (eg. how to greet someone at the door, how to give gentle hugs, how to order in a restaurant, how to pray, etc.).
But you know what?
None of it got to the heart of the issue.
Then, one day, when I was feeling just a little bit desperate, I asked two women from our church (who had grown children) for some advice.
And you know what they said?!
Pray blessings over her.
Yep. That's it. That's all they said.
Hmmm....I wasn't really satisfied.
Where were the techniques?
Where were the things that I could accomplish?
I mean, c'mon, we did pray for her already.
But, I thought about what they said. I told David about their advice. And we began to sneak into her room after she was asleep and to pray blessings over her life. We prayed for freedom, and for the knowledge of the love of God. We prayed for a heart of love and a heart of maturity. We prayed for a zealous life, given over to the Lord.
And then, I totally backed off. I stopped giving constant instructions. I stopped trying to control her behavior (she can get a little socially inappropriate, but honestly, it's nothing big at all and I just had to get over it!). And I've stopped having expectations that her growth and maturity should look just like other children's growth and maturity.
And you know what?
She is maturing.
She is growing.
She is truly starting to trust me more.
It's really slow.
But it is happening. And I'm so grateful.
God is fulfilling His promises.
He is molding this precious child into a daughter.
She is no longer an orphan and she is starting to know this and to feel this and to live like this.
It is going to take time.
But, He's got lots of time.
We've got lots of time.
We're in no rush.
He's working.
And it's glorious!


Waitingfaithfully said...

God is so very faithful Sarah! I'm so happy for all of you that things are progressing in a positive direction!

Thank you Lord for Your faithfulness, and thank you for placing wise woman who have "been there" in Sarah's life, and in mine! We are grateful!

Blessings to you friend ~



Shonni said...

I will pray for her. I have experienced so often that the LORD gives us mother's the wisdom needed...keep asking HIM to show you.

SarahinOK said...

Wow. Such a great post. I know my own tendency with my kids is to do the same thing and to seek 'ways' to fix things. Thanks for the great reminder that yes, teaching is appropriate, but allowing the spirit of God to move is even more powerful!

James, Dawn and Family said...

Praise GOD you were brought into her life! PRAISE GOD she got parents that never gave up on her! Your faithfullness will change her life forever.

Difference2This1 said...

It's so hard- you know they are precious and special and you want others to see that. But, we worry their social "quirks" will put others off and they will eventually get hurt by the people who can't see past these quirks. Such a challenge to accept who they are, yet help them overcome the social skills they are lacking. Praying He will continue to show you what she needs.

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