For the past 2-3 months one of our wonderful treasures has been having some health/emotional difficulties. David and I have been asking ourselves many questions and have felt quite exhausted at moments. But despite the difficulties, I am grateful for the reminder that I am not the one who is in control. It has brought me to the Throne of Grace, and has caused me to address some of my own issues before our loving Father, who loves me and who loves our precious child more than I ever could.

One thing that God has been revealing to me more and more, is my own pride. I would love to say that my desire for my children to have good behavior is always and only due to a desire to honor God and to show love to others. But this would not be true. So often I feel that my children's behavior is a reflection on my success or failure as a parent. I want them to act appropriately so that I look good. Yuck! Who would want to live with that kind of pressure?

God loves us even when our behavior is atrocious. He is completely and totally in love with us and longs to pour His love into our hearts. Do I convey that same message to my little one who is struggling right now? Oh Lord, let it be so! I do so desire to have a heart like His.

The other (related) thing that I have been learning is that any change that comes about (in my or my child's heart) is due completely to God's grace. I often feel that if I do just the right thing, that will change the situation. And although I believe that God gives us guidance on how to raise/train our children, ultimately He is the one who brings about real change. His grace is absolutely necessary. Without it, I am completely and utterly helpless.

So, I lean now on His beautiful grace. I praise Him for each of my children and for their lives which are precious to Him. May He use this situation to cause me to depend on Him more, and to cause each member of our family to be formed more and more into His image.