the line

If therefore you have not been faithful in the use of unrighteous mammon, who will entrust the true riches to you? Luke 16:11

For the past two years, the Lord has taken me on a journey--a journey deeper into Himself. He took me through a season of testing and trial, and then He poured out His grace upon me in a way that was wondrous and glorious. This time has changed my perspective on many things, and has refined my perspective on some other things. But, perhaps the greatest change that has come about in my life is in the way that I see money--the unrighteous mammon of this world.

Now, this change has been somewhat of a surprise to me. Because, unlike many other people's experience, I have never had what you might call a "love of money." In fact, it would probably be more accurate to say that I had a "hate of money" and much of what it represented. But friends, though I believed that this hate was righteous, it really wasn't. I not only hated the money itself, I hated those whom I deemed were using money in an unrighteous fashion. Now, of course I would not say that I hated them, but in actuality, I did.

I believed that there was a line--a line between righteous spending and unrighteous spending. And though I knew that I was not fully on the righteous side, I did believe that I was generally in that category. And you know what? I thought that many others were not. I judged their hearts in a way that only God can do, and I made my agenda higher than God.

Friends, I still believe that there is a line. But, that line has much more to do with love than with a checklist of do's and don'ts. My focus has changed from judging what I think others should be doing, to being so very grateful that God has given me the resources to give generously. That line represents absolute and total joy in submitting to the Father's will for the money that He has given to me and how I can use it to help others.

He's given me so very much. Friends, He's also given you so very much. Now, please know that what I am about to say has nothing to do with judgment. I absolutely cannot know what you should do with the money and resources that God has given you. And honestly, I have given up judging others in this realm.

But friends, the fact is that people are starving. 20,000 children will die today for lack of food and water.

The fact is that there are 147 million orphans in the world. They have no parents and the ones who actually live in orphanages are the lucky ones.

The fact is that people are dying for their faith and are leaving behind wives and children who have no means of support.

I had to ask myself--Do I really need a new couch? We got the old one (which is a futon) years ago at a garage sale and it is not the most comfortable for elderly guests to sit on.

I had to ask myself--Are new cabinets necessary? They are ugly and dented.

But friends, they were fleeting questions, because I know the line that God has given to me. And that line has nothing to do with what I should do, and everything to do with love. It is such a joy to give, and if we buy those things, I would have nothing left to give. I love Jesus, and I want to use what He has given for His glory!

Dear ones, I am not saying that no one should buy a couch or get new cabinets. There are things that we have bought that we didn't need, because we thought that buying them was the most loving thing to do in that situation. There are also things that I have bought that I have regretted buying later on. We didn't need them, we only thought that we needed them.

But God is gracious and He keeps teaching me. He's not so concerned about our mistakes, but He does want us to move forward in love. I expect that some of the things that I think I need today, will no longer be needs 10 years from now. I'm immature. But, I am maturing. And I want to continue growing in Christ because I love Him so much.

And that's the point. It's all about love. It's all about His love that He wants to pour out on a lost and lonely world. And it is so much fun to take part in that sort of love!! There is a line. But, it's a line of love. Isn't that just like Jesus?! He's all about love, isn't He?!

clean cut

The boys' hair was getting a little scraggly, so I got out the clippers and scissors and gave them each a trim.

My handsome hubby

Precious Adam.

Sweet Jadon.

Rosie needed a trim, as well (her ears were lopsided!).

Isn't she the sweetest little thing?!

blessed

My friend, Suzanne, is a florist with a BIG heart.

On Saturday, when she and her husband came to our house for dinner, she brought a little spring with her.

Aren't they beautiful?! Calla Lilies are my favorite, and they look wonderful with the irises and tulips.

At Christmas time, Suzanne gave us a bouquet of flowers with a separate type of flower for each member of our family. How sweet is that?!
She even brought over flowers once when we were sick (sorry, I don't have a picture of that one).
I gotta say...
I feel blessed.

By the flowers?
Yes.
By the friendship?
Definitely!

Homeschooling with Grace

Oh my! It is so much fun to do school with Grace! As I mentioned in an earlier post, teaching her to read is just like teaching Adam to read. Reading a single word might take them on a tangent that lasts five minutes (you'll see this happen about half-way through the video that I posted below--which is why I posted this video, instead of one where she actually reads something!). The only difference between Grace and Adam is that Grace doesn't stand on her head during her reading lesson. lol!

She's acutally doing a great job reading, though. I tried to start reading a little earlier in the year, but she just wasn't interested. Then, a few weeks ago, she started asking about words in all of her books. She wanted to read! That's one of the wonderful things about homeschooling. I can let my children go at their own pace, when they are ready. Also, Grace can wander all around the house, and I can just wait until she gets back!

And there she goes!! (She did actually finish this lesson! And Adam can sit still now that he's 11!! I'm sure that Grace will get to that point...some day! lol!)

Grace loves numbers. Adam has been doing each of the activities with Grace that are printed on the back of these cards. They have a great time together!

healing the orphan spirit

A few months ago, I posted a promise that God had given me regarding one of our children. (You can read about it here: http://davidandsarahb.blogspot.com/2009/10/no-more-orphan-spirit.html) He said that He would give generous wisdom to us as we entrusted Him with one of our dearest treasures. This child had had a very traumatic past and was having difficulty trusting us (especially me). She was holding on to an orphan spirit, and we so wanted her to have a spirit of adoption! God promised that He was going to work wonderously in this child's life and I firmly believe that He is doing just that!

When we adopted this particular child, I decided that we could fix all of her problems if we just remained consistent, loving and firm. After all, I was a very competent person and I could take care of everything that she needed if I just stuck with it. Our consistency did bring about a degree of compliance. She seemed to be doing well and many people commented on how well-adjusted she seemed. Let me be clear--she was and is well-adjusted in many ways. She is a wonderful person! But, there was still something that wasn't quite right. There was a way that she was emotionally immature and unable to trust. This was the real issue that needed to be addressed.

So...we tried every possible thing that we could think of to help her to become emotionally secure and relationally mature. I always seemed to be attempting a new technique that might help a bit. I focused a lot on time together and specific teaching (eg. how to greet someone at the door, how to give gentle hugs, how to order in a restaurant, how to pray, etc.).

But you know what?

None of it got to the heart of the issue.

Then, one day, when I was feeling just a little bit desperate, I asked two women from our church (who had grown children) for some advice.

And you know what they said?!

Pray blessings over her.

Yep. That's it. That's all they said.

Hmmm....I wasn't really satisfied.

Where were the techniques?

Where were the things that I could accomplish?

I mean, c'mon, we did pray for her already.

But, I thought about what they said. I told David about their advice. And we began to sneak into her room after she was asleep and to pray blessings over her life. We prayed for freedom, and for the knowledge of the love of God. We prayed for a heart of love and a heart of maturity. We prayed for a zealous life, given over to the Lord.

And then, I totally backed off. I stopped giving constant instructions. I stopped trying to control her behavior (she can get a little socially inappropriate, but honestly, it's nothing big at all and I just had to get over it!). And I've stopped having expectations that her growth and maturity should look just like other children's growth and maturity.

And you know what?

She is maturing.

She is growing.

She is truly starting to trust me more.

It's really slow.

But it is happening. And I'm so grateful.

God is fulfilling His promises.

He is molding this precious child into a daughter.

She is no longer an orphan and she is starting to know this and to feel this and to live like this.

It is going to take time.

But, He's got lots of time.

We've got lots of time.

We're in no rush.

He's working.

And it's glorious!

Anyone want to join us?

If you've got a girl aged 10 or older, you've just got to look into this incredible conference. It's called Set Apart Girl, and it's taking place May 28-30 in beautiful Colorado! Here's what it's all about:

"This is not your typical girl's conference! It's an inspiring call to enter the battle for Truth. It is a challenge to die to self, lay everything on the altar before God, and discover His incredible purpose for your life. You will be challenged to let God gently purge anything from your life that is standing in the way of Him receiving full glory in and through your femininity; to exchange the frivolous for the eternal. You will be motivated to leave your comfort zone and pour out your life for the least and lost around the world.

"This conference is for young women of all ages - for anyone who is ready to leave behind the trivial things of this world and respond to the sacred call God has upon your life - to change this world for the glory of Christ. God's sacred intent for us goes far beyond adding some Christian morality to our self-indulgent lives. His intent for you and me is nothing short of absolute abandonment to Jesus Christ, entire separation from the pollution of the world, and ardent worship of our King with every breath we take. And that is the message of this unforgettable weekend."

Doesn't it sound great?! And another really incredible thing is that they have an orphan care track for girls ages 15 and older. My girls aren't old enough to go to those sessions this year, but you can bet that I'll be trying to talk to people about it throughout the weekend.

I'd love to have some of you join us for this conference. And if you need a place to stay, we live just 15 minutes from the place where the conference is being held. So if you don't mind a little squishiness...:)

Here's where you can get more information: http://setapartgirl.com/2010-conference

a pearl

God is so gracious. This past weekend I went on a retreat, and God spoke to me about many things in a very personal way. In one sense, this made the weekend difficult. I have come home, wrestling with some things, seeking the heart of God and what He wants for me and for others. In other, ways, of course, the words that the Lord gave to me were a sweet balm for my soul. He is always so kind.

One of the speakers at the retreat shared two stories that were very personal to her. She called them "pearls". And though she was hesitant to share them because of their personal nature, she really felt that the Lord had asked her to do just that. Friends, I was so blessed by these stories. They were from the very heart of God.

Often, I am hesitant to share the things that the Lord is telling me because of their intimate nature. But today, I believe the Lord wants me to share one story from the retreat. He wants me to share it because He wants you to know how insanely much He loves you, how much a heart that is towards Him truly touches His heart, and how much it means to Him when we love Him in the midst of difficulties. Here is my "pearl":

On Friday evening, when we arrived at the retreat, I was feeling in a bit of a slump. I have had a cold that has been hanging on for almost two weeks now, I was tired and I was totally preoccupied by thoughts of the 147 million orphans of the world, and the 20,000 children who would die that day for lack of food and water. I was not really in the mood to socialize!

We spent a little time in worship and then listened to a speaker. My mind was totally not there. But then we started to worship again. I moved to the back of the room, so that I could have a little space and also so that I could stay awake. The song that we were singing was truly beautiful and I felt God bringing me to a place of worship. After a little while, I glanced to my right. There was a woman standing a little ways away, worshipping. She looked beautiful...I mean absolutely radiant. And then I felt the heart of God for this woman. "I just love her so much. Isn't she radiant?" He said. It seemed as If our Lord was choking back tears. He was just so in love with this woman.

I looked around me. There were many other women worshipping. They were beautiful, as well, but none of them even came close to the radiance that this woman exuded. "What is it about this woman, Lord? Why is she so radiant?"

He didn't answer me. Instead He told me to go and tell her how much He loved her.

Okay....I guess that I could do that. I mean, who wouldn't like to hear about God's love for them? So, after a few minutes I walked over to this woman and said. "You know, when you were worshipping, you looked absolutely radiant. The Lord wants you to know how much He loves you."

That's it. I hardly even looked her in the eyes. I just delivered my message and walked away. I thought that it was over...but I was wrong.

The next evening, we were getting ready for worship again. The woman whom I had talked with the night before, walked up to the front to share a testimony and to encourage us in our worship. She talked for awhile about some of the things that God had been showing her over the past few years due to illnesses in her family, and then she shared something very personal. Her one year old son had cancer. He had a 50% chance of making it through the year. But, through this incredible trial, the Lord was showing her what it meant to worship...to worship Him because He is worthy no matter our circumstances, no matter what might happen to her son. He is worthy.

Friends, I was in tears. This woman had endured so much pain and still wanted to worship our precious Lord. No wonder He was so taken with her. No wonder He wanted her to know of His deep affection and care for her. No wonder He had to choke back tears when he spoke of His love for her. She truly was a jewel in the crown of our beautiful Jesus.

After the woman got down from the stage, I went over and hugged her. Through tears, I tried to explain more of what the Father had conveyed to me about His love for her. "I didn't know last night why he wanted me to tell you this."

"I knew," she said, with a face still radiant with His love. "I knew."

My friends, do you know that He loves you in the same way? He loves you with a love that is uncontainable. He loves you in such a way that He has to choke back tears when He speaks of you. And when you worship Him in the midst of trials, His heart is completely ravished by you. Dear ones, His heart is completely for you. He will move heaven and earth so that you will know His love. You are radiant to Him.