happy, happy

Happy Father's Day to the most selfless, giving, fun-loving daddy that I know.

happy, happy

 

just pics...

As it seems my blog is being neglected, I thought I'd at least update with pictures from the past month.

 

Mr. snuggles and his daddy. How could one little boy have so much love inside of him?!!!

David, David and Adam working on the solar panels.

 

 

 

We'll be off the grid soon!

 

Adam really gets into the work!

 

A double pancake for breakfast.

 

These two...such love!

What can I say? Absolute sweetness.

Yana is so incredibly helpful. I love her servant's heart.

David's aunt and cousin came for a quick visit. It was a blessing to see them.

 

I have a blog post brewing in my mind...we'll see if it gets out of my mind and onto the screen. :)

 

 

abiding

Several months ago, a sweet friend gave our family three large boxes of books. Among the many volumes, there were a number of little paperbacks written by Andrew Murray. Though I had read some of these gems in the past, there was one that I had not read before:

Abide in Christ.

 

I'm not sure why I picked that book out of the many possibilities on our shelves. Looking back, I have to believe that it was God's own hand that guided my hand to reach up and pull down that little volume, leafing through the pages, slipping it into my bag before I headed out for my day of prayer.

 

Prior to that time, the word abide would start my heart racing. Abide was an action word. Hearing it caused me to search within myself for something that I could do to cause myself to live fully surrendered to Him. But, as I began to read that simple book on that chilly fall afternoon, something wondrous happened. I started to see that instead of it being my job to keep myself fixed on Him, that too was His responsibility.

 

He would keep me.

He would be the one who would cause me to abide in Him.

All that I had to do was allow Him the privilege.

 

 

Oh friends, perhaps you are much wiser than me and have learned this lesson long ago. But, for my heart, it was a revelation: Nothing that I could do would cause me to abide in Christ, but in surrendering even my ability to keep myself, I would find true rest in Him.

 

And dear ones, as I have begun to live this out over the past few months, He has proved Himself faithful! Some days, it is easy. I have an uninterrupted time with the Lord in the morning, the kids are doing great, I am able to interact with my neighbors and the weather is beautiful. My heart freely dwells on the Lord and it is easy to abide in Him. On other days, however, relationships are difficult, financial matters are stressful, parenting is overwhelming, and the list could go on and on. It's a temptation (ridiculous as it may be) to take matters into my own hands and make a plan as to how I can overcome the world!

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), it never works. Instead of overcoming, I begin to experience anxiety and fear. Through God's grace, it is becoming more and more clear to me that those difficult days are the ones in which I need to lean into Him even more intentionally and let Him do the work of keeping my heart surrendered to His heart. When I remember how helpless I am before Him, and simply trust in His ability, He can work wonders!

"If I can say, 'Jesus is to me at this moment all that God gave Him to be: life, and strength, and peace,' as I say it, I have only to hold still, rest, and realize it, and for that moment I have what I need. As my faith sees how I am in Christ through God and takes the place in Him my Father has provided, my soul can peacefully settle down: now I abide in Christ." (Andrew Murray)

 

Andrew Murray and his precious book have become dear friends to me over the past few months. They lead me into the presence of Jesus, who keeps me in Him and who is forever faithful. Truly, I abide in Christ today through no merit of my own, but only because of His great goodness and kindness to me! Oh, how beautiful He is! Oh how wondrous it is to abide in Christ!
 

a joyful heart

A joyful heart is good medicine!

 

 

 Kaikai is recovering well after his tendon transfer surgery. Oh how grateful I am for the special relationship between these two. It truly is good medicine!

happenings...

I love to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus! Starting with Great Friday, and continuing on through Bright Week (the week following Easter/Pascha), it is a joy to have this time to remember all that our Lord has done for us.

 

(Easter Sunday)

 

On Saturday morning, we had such a fun time coloring eggs. We didn't get a chance to do this last year, so it was Kaikai's first egg-coloring. He was amazed by his beautiful blue egg.

 Sweet sisters...

 

 On Monday, Adam had a chance to do a different kind of celebrating when he passed his driver's permit test! Yay, Adam!

 Can I just say that I love the relationship between these two, and that Adam is really getting tall?!!!

 

 A rare shot of my sweetie and me.

 

We missed being with our beloved friends in Fort Collins this Easter week, but we carried on some of our traditions here in Kansas City. On Tuesday night we handed out brownies and lemonade, and did a chalk drawing across the street from the garden. What a fun time to meet some of our neighbors and rejoice in the resurrection in a way that kids can really enjoy.

 

Praising God for a beautiful week of celebration! He is so good!

Christmas in April

One of the beautiful things about Jesus, is that He is so generous to bring about the desires of our hearts. He just loves to bless His children!

 

 

Before David and I met, and after we got married, God gave David a vision for the beauty of agriculture and it's ability to bring about a community-mindset and lifestyle. We asked God to lead us into this sort of Christian community, but in His wisdom, our Father brought us to a place that we needed even more. He moved us to Fort Collins and revealed to us the glory of the Church through the community that we were a part of there.

 

Oh, how we needed to learn the lessons that we learned in our church body! It is so easy to value community for community's sake, rather than for the sake of the Lord and His Kingdom. If God had answered our prayers in the way that we had desired early in our marriage, we would have missed out on an understanding of what it means to build His Church within a community of unconditional love. What a tragedy that would have been!

 

 

When, however, we heard God's call to plant a church in Kansas City, God began to resurrect the desires that we had lain aside so long ago. We had originally thought that we would be moving to the suburbs, but through a series of miraculous events, God moved us right into the heart of the city. He was answering the cry of our hearts to live among the poor of this world, AND He was answering  our prayers, from so many years ago, in which plants and gardening and agriculture enhanced and brought life to community. 

 

Two Saturdays ago, we had our first spring work-day in the community garden that our church family stewards (and which many people, long before us, have worked hard to bring about). The garden is just a couple of blocks from our house, and I walk through it almost every day. It is a one of a series of rays of beautiful light in this broken neighborhood.

 

Being among the people of this community (working, talking and laughing) was pure joy for my sweet hubby. David has waited many years for a moment like this. In His words, it was like Christmas in April!

 

 

Isn't our God so very kind?! I am truly in awe of His goodness. He is a generous Father and His heart is always for us. Sometimes the desires that He gives to us must lay dormant for a time, but we can trust that these desires are never forgotten by our Lord. He will bring them about in His time.

 

 

And when he does...oh Jesus, what joy!

golden feet

"Let the weak say I am strong." Joel 3:10

Every morning, at 6:00 am, I hear the patter of sweet little feet running down the hallway towards our room. As Kaikai enters our bedroom, he exerts one last burst of energy before he flings his little body on top of David's sleeping form. My amazing husband then gets up with our sweet son and they head downstairs to snuggle and pray.

A couple of weeks ago, David and Kaikai had just settled in on the couch for their time with the Lord when David realized that he had forgotten his glasses upstairs. He went up to get them, and upon his return, noticed that Kaikai was staring down at his own feet. David sat down on the other couch and after a few minutes, Kaikai joined him and characteristically melted his little body into David's lap. "My feet were shiny, Dad."

David didn't know what to make of that, but assumed that Kaikai was making a reference to the infection that had plagued his feet for the past three months. He pulled Kaikai a little closer (if that's even possible), and went back to reading his Bible.

Kaikai waited patiently for a time, but then tried again, "My feet were shiny, Dad."

David looked into Kaikai's eyes and recognized an intensity there that caused him to take more notice this time. "What do you mean, shiny?"

"Well, they were gold and yellow...and uh, shiny," Kaikai struggled to explain.

Because he still wasn't sure that he had understood, David asked Kaikai to draw a picture of what he had seen. Kaikai seemed relieved to have an option in which he wouldn't have to try to explain in English. He picked up the pencil and paper and drew what would translate, in full-size, to an 18 inch cloud around his feet. "It was shiny, Dad. It was gold and yellow."

And then it hit David. God had given Kaikai a vision; a vision of a golden cloud, encompassing his precious little feet.

Now, you might be tempted to think that God's main intent for this vision was to provide healing for our beautiful son. I am most certainly not opposed to this interpretation of Kaikai's vision, but I believe that God was saying something even greater. God was highlighting Kaikai's weakness, and wanted to show that our son's weakness, indeed all of our weaknesses, are really our strength.

For all of his life Kaikai has depended upon others for many of his basic needs. This could have caused frustration or anger to grow up in Kaikai's heart. But, instead, my sweet son has embraced his weakness and has allowed God to use it to grow a great love for people in his heart. What Kaikai lacks in bodily strength is by far made up for in strength of character. His cheerfulness in the face of adversity is a source of inspiration to me every day. Kaikai is a mighty young warrior in his ability to love, trust and forgive.

 

 

Andrew Murray expressed this understanding of weakness well when he said, "The Christian thinks his weaknesses are his greatest hindrance in the life and service of God; God tells us that it is the secret of strength and success. It is our weakness, heartily accepted and continually realized, that gives us our claim and access to the strength of him who has said, 'My strength is made perfect in weakness.'"

Though it seems contrary to our human way of thinking, Kaikai's weak little feet have truly made him strong. Ever since Kaikai had his vision, I like to find moments when I can whisper into his ear, "You have golden feet. You have golden feet, my son!"

Kaikai smiles because he knows that it's true. His feet are a treasure; one that God has used to give him all the strength that he will ever need.