Keeping Sane (part 5)

In order to consistently respond to my children in love, I know that I need some time and space away from them. There are 3 groups of people who particularly refresh me for the task of parenting.

1) Besides having daily time with the Lord, it is absolutely essential for me to have more extended times of prayer/study. As I've mentioned before, David and I trade off Fridays as prayer days. I love to walk and pray, and then make my way over to Panera to read/study and pray. What a gift this time is to me. I can pray over things that God has been revealing to me over the past couple of weeks, and really take the time to study and think about what He wants me to do in response to His voice. God, of course, is my true refreshment in all areas.

2) Similarly, I also need extended times with my sweet and wonderful husband. We have in depth conversations almost every day after the kids go to bed, but there is something special about having uninterupted time away from the house (and before I get too sleepy!). Since we have been home from China, we have only gone out on 2 dates and Grace has joined us for both of them. This is good and necessary for now, but it is only for a season. I know that the best thing for David's and my relationship is to have regular (at least twice a month) date nights.

This is something that I struggled with in the past. We have always tried to live simply so that we could give to others. I wasn't sure how paying a babysitter and going out to eat fit into simple living. Now, I realize that I was motivated out of guilt and not love. I understand now that it is necessary and good for David's and my relationship to have this time together. God is not short on resources. We have found that the more that we spend for love's sake (to be together or to give to others), the more that He gives to us to give in love again.

3) The third group of people that I must spend time with are sisters in the Lord. It is so good to have the encouragement, exhortation and love of godly sisters. At the moment, unfortunately, this is not occuring regularly. I am confident, however, that God will bring more godly women into my life who will be able to share their hearts and lives. I am asking Him for this, and I believe that He will answer my prayer.

What sorts of things do you do that refresh you for the task of parenting your children? I'd love to hear some of your thoughts and ideas.

Spicy Girl!

Our little Guizhou girl likes things hot and spicy! Here is one of her favorite snacks.

Make sure you get enough!

Take a big bite!

Mmmm...that is good!

65 degrees

There's just nothing like a beautiful, sunny day in January, to make you smile!!

The Love that Keeps us Sane (part 4)

We had such a great time cleaning the house this morning. I know that may sound crazy, but we really did. There are a few tricks that I have learned in order to make things go more smoothly, and for the kids (and myself!) to have good attitudes about cleaning.

First of all, everyone at this point, has the same job each week. As the younger ones get older, I will train them on new jobs because I want to have them learn how to do all of the cleaning. But, for now, keeping the same jobs works best. Jadon vacuums upstairs, Adam vacuums the stairs and downstairs, Lily cleans the mirrors and sliding glass door and vacuums the couch, and Yana dusts and washes the kitchen floor. I always clean the bathrooms because I like them to be really clean!

That brings me to my next point. I have to be willing to accept imperfection. Every once in a while, I may do some extra detail cleaning, but week to week, I rely on my children to help keep things clean. Some of them do this better than others, but they all do a reasonable job and I want to encourage them by not re-doing their jobs. Also, I really don't want to do any extra work!

I also try to remembr to really thank the children for their hard work. Everyone likes to be appreciated for what they have done. I can tend to take things that they do for granted, so I try to make a point of showing my gratitude in an enthusiastic manner.

Another thing that helps to make cleaning pleasant, is not to be too rushed. We can actually finish all of the cleaning in about an hour or an hour-and-a-half, but if we only have an hour then I get too stressed. Today, we had all morning to clean. It didn't take all morning, but we didn't have to rush, so we all felt very peaceful about getting it done.

A final thing that I have just recently been realizing is that I need to appreciate and utilize each child's strengths more. I have been so focused on strengthening them in their weak areas, I had been forgetting about utilizing their strengths.

So, for example, I have one super-cleaner, two willing cleaners who usually have good attitudes, and one avoider of all cleaning. In the past, I have worked and worked and worked (i.e. nagged) on helping this un-named avoider to finish up the assigned cleaning jobs. But, even though this child avoids a lot of work, she (okay, now you know that it is one of the girls) is also the most helpful when it comes to interacting with Grace. She loves to get Grace dressed, loves to get Grace's beakfast and Grace, in turn, loves it when she gets all of this special attention.

So, today, my avoider still had to do her work (in her own time), but I utilized her strengths in helping with Grace. That way, I could clean the bathrooms without being interupted (okay, so Grace did come in at one point because she really loves to scrub the toilet!).

In addition to their weekly jobs, the kids also have daily jobs. Of course, they make their beds and pick up their rooms. They also do all of the kitchen clean-up. Yana clears the table and deals with the trash and compost, Adam empties the dishwasher and wipes off the table and counters, Jadon fills the dishwasher and Lily either washes the dishes or sweeps the kitchen floor (whichever one is needed most at that meal).

They also walk the dog, fold socks, towels, etc. and do other general cleaning as needed. There are three main reasons that we teach our children to help with the cleaning. First, with 5 kids, I really do need their help in order to stay sane! Second, it helps them to learn to be responsible. And third, we want them to find joy in service.

After cleaning the house, we always try to do something that they enjoy. Since we do a limited amount of home schooling on Friday, we make time to go to the park, for a bike ride, to the library, etc. Today, we went to the library. It always amazes me how much they enjoy getting new books! So, an afternoon of reading topped off our lovely morning of cleaning! Oh, how I enjoy being the mom of these 5 precious children!

A Visit from Grandma and Grandpa

We had a lovely visit from my parents last week. Grace warmed up to Grandma and Grandpa right away and they were smitten with her, as well. They had to make their way back to MN on Monday and everyone misses them!! Hopefully, there will be more visits soon. Until then, Grace (and the other kiddos) will have to be content to talk with Nai Nai and Ye Ye on the phone.

Keeping Sane (part 3)

"Never let anyone come to you without coming away better and happier. Everyone should see goodness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile." Mother Teresa

"The thoughtfulness of Jesus, Mary and Joseph was so great that they made Nazareth a privileged abode of the Most High." Mother Teresa

I love Mother Teresa. The thing that I probably appreciate about her the most is her willingness to love each person. It has been said by people who were with her, that she focused all of her attention on the person whom she was with at the time. She, herself, said "Every person is for me the only person in the world at that moment."

Then, there's her smile. From what I have heard, joy was always apparent in both she and the sisters who served along with her. That is the thing that drew people to them--the joy of the Lord.

This kind of love keeps us sane. Smiling at our children, enjoying our children, laughing at their silliness and applauding their growth in maturity keep us sane. The number one thing that can ruin a day for me is my own attitude. If I can't smile and truly enjoy my children, the day may as well be over before it starts.

Sometimes this is a discipline for me. I smile at my children, but do not feel cheerful. Sometimes, I have to make a special point to smile at one of them, because I am irritated by something childish that they have done. This, for me, is absolutely crucial in order for our relationships to stay strong. Smiling at them keeps things sane. It helps them to see and experience my love for them. And, it helps me to have a change of attitude.

One blog that I enjoy reading and that encourages me in this area is Tonya's blog over at www.thekissackfamily.blogspot.com Even though I have never met Tonya, it is always apparent to me that she truly enjoys her children. I am absolutely sure that she smiles at them A LOT. Go check it out and be encouraged. Then, smile at your own children (and your spouse!!). What a great way to keep things sane and show the joy and love of the Lord each day.

Two months of sweetness

It is absolutely remarkable to David and myself, how delightful this little girl is. We were prepared for a lot of difficulties. With two of our other children there were, understandably, some major adjustments. But Grace is doing so well. She is very attached to David and myself and her spirit is light and joyful. We would have loved her no matter how difficult the adjustment, but we are so very grateful for the ease of this time. We consider it a generous gift from our very loving Father. Thank you, Lord, for two wonderful months with our precious, sweet and loving little girl!!